Tests

So it's been a rough few weeks for me. I have felt like everything in life has been sabotaged. My work life felt like it was caving in on me and there was nothing I could do, but crumple with it.  Finally, last night during my prayer time, I just started to sob out my complaints to God. It felt a little better, but I still felt pretty lousy when I awoke this morning.


After my shower, I sat down at the table to read the Bible. I prayed and told God, "I don't even know where to read." So, I just started flipping through pages and stopped and looked down at II Corinthians 13. I prayed, thanked God for the Word and I asked God to speak to me through the reading. Keep examining yourselves to see whether you are continuing in the faith. Test yourselves! You know, don't you, that Jesus Christ lives in you? Could it be that you are failing the test? I hope you will realize that we haven't failed our test. We pray to God that you won't do anything wrong - not to show that we haven't failed the test, but so that you may do what is right, even if we seem to have failed. For we can't do anything against the truth, but only for the truth. We're glad when we are weak and you are strong. That's what we're praying for - your maturity. (2 Cor. 13:5-9)

Then, I decided to pray through Psalm 139. I got to verse 3: You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.  I was sobbing again, by this point just pouring out my heart to God.  I kept hearing a line from Job going over and over in my spirit (You know the way I take). So, I looked it up - Job 23:10: But He knows the way that I take; But it didn't stop there. That was just part 1 of the verse I read on all the way down to verse 12:  When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. My foot has held fast to His steps; I have kept His way and not turned aside. I have not departed from commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food. This reminded me of one of my favorite chapters in Psalms - 119.


I knew that God was speaking to me about the trial of my faith: Wherein you greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, you are in heaviness through manifold temptations: that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it be tried in with fire, might be found unto praise (I Peter 1:7)  And again, Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is. (I Cor. 3:13)